i’m on the brink of a shame from which no man ever rises. i have shame. but only in that shame will I find my everlasting peace. i’m so weak. i have been conquered. totally conquered. and my thoughts are sad. i have feelings of autumn...soilings...i find mortal wounds in me. i will never find peace until you take me. it must be done so that afterwards I can lie across your thigh like a pietá, cradling a dead jesus.